Truth: The Big Brother
by Mother Of The Universe
Summary: The Truth is on a mission to stop the Dwarf in the Flask from opening the Ultimate Gate! What's his solution? Lock all the main characters of FMA in a mansion together for 104 days of course! CRACK FIC! Rated T for bad language and the occasional dirty joke. WARNING: Completely random, and containing some dad jokes. You have been warned. Also shipping. Cause we love shipping.
1. Introduction

**Hello children! Welcome to Truth: The Big Brother**

 **So, I got this idea from reading a RWBY fanfic called Big Brother: Ozpin by Arrancon, where the main characters (heroes and villains alike) of RWBY are locked in a mansion together, and have to figure out how to get along with their sworn enemy's (based off the reality show, Big Brother). It gave me the idea for this.**

 **This is a Crackfic. It will contain humor, ridiculous scenarios, satire, dirty jokes, clean jokes, in-between jokes, dad jokes, bad jokes, fluff, more humor, over-exaggeration of characters and their personalities, some soap-opera-ish drama, even more humor, and everything in between.**

 **One last thing. I know I'm working on a lot of other fic's right now (because I write impulsively), but my weeks been terrible, so I'm writing humor to lift my spirits. So there!**

 **Disclaimer** **: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, or big brother, or the RWBY fanfic I got the idea from. I own this, and nothing else. Thank you**

 **And without further ado, on with the show!**

* * *

Introduction

* * *

Despite the fact that it had been having a terrible day, the Truth was happy. It shouldn't be happy; it had just gotten it's powers stolen from it a few hours ago, and now it's nagging sibling, Order, was about to pay it a visit, most likely to complain about how Truth's dimension somehow messed with Order's. But it was in a good mood because of the actions of one strange being; Edward Elric.

When Truth decided to take a part of the Unlimited Gate, which connected the different dimensions to the heavens, and give the humans in his world Gates of their own, the rest of The Universe told Truth that it was a bad idea. But Truth didn't care. It wanted to see how humans would use their gates. It was interesting to watch. Powers that where limited to that of God's where placed in the humans hands. They could create, destroy, reconstruct, and shape the world they lived it. Truth was fascinated. It wanted to see what a human was willing to give for power.

Then Edward Elric boldly approached Truth, and gave up his power to get his brother back. He had so many other options; he could've used his body, the souls from a philosopher's stone, his father's life; but he chose to give up his powers instead. He gave up his one chance to become a god to save someone he loved. In this action, Edward Elric performed the ultimate act of humility. He passed the test, and became Truth's favorite soul.

Of course, Truth's good mood was dampened when it's sibling, Order, stepped into Truth's heaven like it owned the place. It's black silhouette-like form contrasted the Truth's white one, and it's over-majestic gold gate that had just appeared in Truth's domain which Order had entered from was sickeningly bright. But Order had a flair for dramatics. The Truth would know this, as Order was it's twin. And since Truth had the misfortune of being twins with one of the Universe's components, Truth's and Order's dimensions where unfortunately connected.

"It's been a while, Order," The Truth said to it's sibling. "We haven't spoken since this dimensions previous form nearly teared your dimension apart"

"I'm still unhappy about that," Order said back. "I told you it was a bad idea to create a dimension before it's tablet was finished but did you listen to me? No! You had to go off and create an uncoordinated dimension. You nearly destroyed the universe because of it!"

"Well sorry for wanting to add some creativity to my dimension!" Truth replied. "How was I supposed to know people from _my_ dimension would somehow end up in _yours_!"

"You should've observed Connections mistake!" Order replied. "It started it's dimension before it's tablet was finished, and had to completely stop time in that dimension to make up for it! And let's just say the people in _my_ dimension where not happy!"

"Speaking of the people in _your_ dimension, would you stop turning the events in our dimensions into contents of entertainment for your people? It's really annoying,"

"As long as it doesn't cause an imbalance I can do whatever I want,"

"Fine. But why are you here? Did my dimension somehow upset yours again?" Truth asked it's nagging sibling.

"Yes, in fact, it did. The actions of the being known as the Dwarf in the Flask nearly collided our dimensions,"

"Oh really?"

"Yes. He opened the Ultimate Gate. Opening that gate can collide earth with heaven. It would've not only destroyed your dimension, but also your heaven, the rest of your dimensions, and the entire Universe,"

"But it didn't,"

"Yeah, but one slip-up with our time management, and it can change that. We can't risk it. I need you to erase the Dwarf's existence,"

"Sorry, but no can do,"

"What?"

"Erasing the Dwarfs existence would mean that the being known as Van Hohenheim never became immortal. He would've then died before Trisha Elric was even born,"

"So?"

"The existence of Edward Elric would be erased,"

"Why do you care?"

"Because Edward Elric passed the test. He is now my favorite being, and I do _not_ want his existence erased,"

"Your threatening the fate of the universe because some dumb kid gave up his gate?"

"I'm threatening the fate of the universe because a _genius_ did the _one thing_ every other human was either to arrogant or unskilled to do. He values human lives even if they are barely human. He may have given up his chance to be anything close to a God, but if I had to choose any human to take my place, I would choose him,"

"Okay, so your not gonna erase the guy's existence because you don't want to let go of your favorite person. Fine!" Order spat out begrudgingly, "But you better figure out a way to keep the dwarf in the flask from opening the ultimate gate, okay!?"

"Fine!" Truth shouted back, "Now get out of my heaven!"

* * *

Being God, Truth could travel into past timelines with ease, meaning that even though Alphonse's body had already left it's domain, Truth could still go back in time to talk to him.

"I hate Order! It think's it owns everything! That it's dimension is the most important! That it's always _my_ fault it's dimension keeps getting messed up! Well ya know what! I just want to try things! I'm naturally curious! And sure, I've upset the balance of the universe a few times, but at least the dimensions I've created are _cool_!" Truth ranted to the body that lacked a soul in front of him.

"What does Order want?" The body asked, it's voice lacking emotion as usual. It only ever felt three emotions; Hope when Edward Elric promised to come back for him, despair when his soul abandoned him, and pride in his soul when he learned the reason why.

"It wants me to stop the Dwarf in the Flask from opening the Ultimate Gate. I can't do that without either erasing his existence or upsetting the balance of the Universe somehow. And I don't want to erase his existence, because that would mean that both you and Edward Elric wouldn't be born,"

"Why do you care about weather we're born or not?" Alphonse's body asked.

"Your brother does something pretty cool. I'm not giving that up," Truth responded.

"Maybe you can change the Dwarf's personality," Al's body suggested.

"Not allowed," Truth replied.

"You could get him to befriend the people he would've killed by opening the portal," Al's body suggested.

"Firstly, how am I gonna do that? Secondly, wouldn't he just make them immortal as well?" Truth replied.

"Not if they show him that humanity is great!" Al's body added.

"Your being to optimistic for a body lacking a soul,"

"My soul's an optimist. It rubs off,"

"Well, how about you use your optimism to think of an idea!?"

"I don't see you suggesting anything!"

"You want the Dwarf in the Flask to befriend someone who will make him think humans are great, right? How is that helpful!"

"Why don't you make him befriend Edward Elric. You seem to think the boy is the pinnacle of human greatness, maybe _he_ can do something!"

"That's... actually a good idea!" The Truth suddenly said.

"It is?" Al's body questioned.

"Yeah, it is! I figure out a way to not only make the Dwarf befriend Edward Elric, but also Edward Elrics friends! If there is anybody who can make someone love human's, it's those guys!"

"Okay, but how are you going to make them befriend each other? Lock them up in the same facility for the next few months?" Al's body joked.

"That is a really good idea!" The Truth then said, surprising Alphonse's body.

"It was a joke!"

"It was still a good idea,"

"Your seriously gonna lock a bunch of people together in a place!"

"Not just any place, a mansion!"

"Your crazy,"

"They can spend one hundred and four days together!"

"Three months!?"

"Don't worry, time will move where I put them but it will only be about three day's or so for the rest of the world,"

"When are you going to lock them together?"

"The day after Edward and Alphonse discover the truth behind the philosopher's stone. That's a good time,"

"But who are you going to lock together?"

"We'll figure that out together. Here, I'll make a list, and you can tell me wether or not you approve of it"

* * *

"Okay Alphonse's body, here's the list," Truth said, handing a finished list of everyone he wanted to invite to the mansion along with the Dwarf in the Flask and Edward Elric.

"This is just a list of everyone in the story!" Alphonse's body snapped.

"Yeah, so?"

"You've got Isaac McDoogle and Father Cornello here. Their both dead by the time you plan to abduct everyone,"

"Right, well, I'll just cross them out then," The Truth said sheepishly.

"And while your at it, can you cross out all the other dead people? They don't need to be there,"

"Fine,"

"And take out everyone else from Lior. Their not that relevant,"

"Fine,"

"And take out the people from Rush Valley too,"

"But‚—"

"Do it!"

"Okay, their out! Now what?"

"Take out every member of the military except the members of Team Mustang, the Armstrong siblings, and Hughes,"

"Even the Brigg's men!"

"Them to,"

"But Grumman—"

"Take him out,"

"How about Fuhrer Bradley,"

"No! Leave him in! He's a homunculus! Oh, but take out Sloth, he's not that interesting,"

"You got that right. Okay, now should I keep or take out Kimbely,"

"Keep him, I think. It should lead to some pretty interesting moments,"

"Anybody else?"

"Let's see... Mrs. Bradley can go, all of Greed's chimera's can go, the Slicer Brother's and Barry the Chopper aren't needed, Pinako Rockbell doesn't show up much, she can skedaddle, and take out Gracia and Elicia Hughes,"

"But their—"

"Their in like, five episodes! They can go!"

"Your good," Truth emitted stubbornly.

Al's body shrugged, "I'm a body without a soul, I lack emotional attachment,"

"True,"

"So who does that leave us with?"

"Let's see..." The Truth read off the people who remained.

"Edward, Alphonse, Winry, Izumi Curtis, Sig Curtis, Mustang, Hawkeye, Hughes, Havoc, Breda, Fallman, Fury, Alex Armstrong, Olivier Armstrong, Hohenheim, The Dwarf in the Flask, all homunculi except for Sloth, Kimbely, Ling Yao, Lan Fan, Fu, May Chang, Shou Mei, Black Hayate, Den, Scar, Marco, and Yoki,"

"Meh, Yoki can go. He's not that important" Alphonse's body decided.

"I was thinking the same thing," Truth replied, crossing out Yoki's name.

"And I think we can take out Sig Curtis as well,"

"But—"

"He's just Izumi's husband,"

"No he's —"

"Take him out!"

"Fine, fine, he can go!"

"And do you really need both dogs?" Al's body asked.

"Yes," Truth said stubbornly.

"Take one out," Al's body demanded.

"Nope, I refuse,"

"Fine, keep them both in. What do I care?"

"So we got our list. Now we just lock them up in a facility of sorts together, and let the personal bonding begin!" The Truth announced.

"This is a bad idea," Al's body muttered

* * *

 **And that's a wrap for the first chapter!**

 **I hope this story will be funny. I can make a joke out of myself easily on accident, but when I try to purposely be funny, I usually somehow fail. But I guess I'll just have to try my best, and you can tell me wether or not I succeeded in humor in a review.**

 **If your confused by the interactions between Truth and it's sibling, Order, and the talk of dimensions, I'll tell you not to worry, because it will be explained with time. Just know that Truth has a few siblings, and each own and maintain multiple dimensions. Each dimension is connected to the siblings by "The Ultimate Gate", which is what the Dwarf in the Flask opened when it stole the powers of God in FMA:B. Every other detail regarding that stuff will be explained later.**

 **Again, I know I have other stories. But this week not only am I stuck in SAT courses but my menstrual cycle is also giving me hell, so this week hasn't been fun. Which is why I'm writing humor. Cause nothing takes the edge off like humor does!**

 **Next Chapter: Truth gather's our participants into the mansion for the first time, and let's just say a few people are less then happy to be locked up in that location!**

 **~MotherUniverse signing out!**


	2. Welcome to the Prison of Paradise

**Chapter 2: Welcome to the Prison of Paradise**

* * *

 **Yep, another chapter!**

 **This time, the characters shall be introduced to their situation!**

 **Let's hope nobody blows anything up.**

 **Again, this is inspired by the RWBY fanfic Big Brother: Ozpin by Arrancon. Look it up, read it, do whatever. That fic was my inspiration for this, so it deserves credit.**

 **Also, I noticed I accidentally forgot about Izumi Curtis when I first posted the previous chapter. I don't know why, I just kinda spaced it. I went back and fixed it as soon as I remembered, but for anyone who saw the story before the fix, she is in it. So there.**

 **AND A SPOILER WARNING HAS NOW BEEN PRESENTED! I PROBABLY SHOULD'VE DONE THIS LAST CHAPTER BUT WHATEVER.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist in any way, shape, or form. I also don't own any other movie/anime/show/etc. that may happen to be mentioned in this chapter or in further chapters. HA-HA! CAN'T SEW ME!**

 **And without further ado, on with the show!**

* * *

Welcome to the Prison of Paradise!

* * *

Day 1

The country of Amestris was in an uproar. Fuhrer Bradley, and his son, had mysteriously disappeared from their home that morning. As was accounted by the distressed witness, Mrs. Bradley, one minute they where standing next to her, gathering their breakfast and getting ready for the day, and then suddenly they disappeared into thin air, the only proof that they where there was that the bagel Fuhrer Bradley had been holding had dropped to the ground, the cream cheese splattered all over the place.

But they weren't the only one's missing. Colonel Mustang's office, which had been alive with the daily activities of Team Mustang, was suddenly empty, the team disappearing without a trace. Maria Ross and Denny Brosh where placed in a panic when the Elric Brother's, whom they where supposed to be watching, suddenly disappeared from their rooms. Major Armstrong was no where to be found, surprising his superiors, since he had never shown up to work late before. Maes Hughes disappeared while lifting up his daughter for a hug, leaving a panicking Gracia to catch her daughter as she suddenly dropped. Winry was in her work room lifting up a box of screws, when Granny, who was in the other room, heard the box crash on the floor, only to run in and realize that Winry was suddenly not there. Izumi had been reading the newspaper, when her husband came in to give her some bacon, only to see an empty chair and the paper falling to the floor. Martel, who had drawn the short straw, was about to go wake Greed up so he could start the day, when she found him gone from his room. Scar was walking, with Yoki trailing behind him, when suddenly Scar wasn't there anymore. Underground Central, Father suddenly disappeared from his chair, and the same happened to Gluttony, Lust, and Envy only seconds after. Over in Xing, May Chang waved goodbye to her clansmen, prepared to hike across the desert, when she suddenly vanished from her spot. Elsewhere in Xing, the same thing happened to Ling Yao, Lan Fan, and Fu. A little girl ran to Dr. Marco's house to bring him flowers only to find the house empty. Up in the mountains of Briggs, Olivier Armstrong had vanished without a trace, and her men, well, her men didn't really care, nor did they worry about her, positive that wherever she was she'd probably be fine, but they still had a nagging curiosity as to where she went.

Nobody knew where everyone had disappeared to. Nobody but the Truth.

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(And maybe Al's body)

* * *

Hohenheim had been hiking a mountain in West Amestris for a few days now, trying to get to the perfect spot to lay his philosopher's stones. When suddenly, the scenery of green and mountains faded out, and was replaced with a blinding shade of white. He recognized this place; this is where the Truth lived.

Hohenheim noticed that he wasn't the only person who had arrived here. All around him, the people who had disappeared throughout Amestris, stood in confusion, a weighing silence hanging over the group as they absorbed their surrounding, nobody daring to break it, until...

"Okay, can somebody explain to me where the hell I am?!" Envy shouted.

"Yeah, where did we go?" Al asked his brother in confusion.

"It looks like we've arrived at Truth," Ed explained.

"What?" Al responded in confusion, but was ignored by his brother.

"Okay, which one of you bastards opened up the gate!" Ed shouted.

"Don't look at me, I'm not an alchemist," Said a tall Xingese guy whom Edward didn't recognize standing next to him. Ed just ignored him, in favor of a certain someone who he had just noticed, and that someone was making him angry.

"I bet it was you, you bastard!" Ed shouted, stomping up to the guy. Ed stood face to face with his father, glaring daggers at the (considerably taller) man.

"Edward," Hohenheim said, slightly surprised. "How did you get here?"

"You tell me!" Ed snapped. "You seem like the kind of guy who would do this!"

"I'm sorry to disappoint you Edward, but it wasn't me. In fact, most everyone who ended up here I've never seen in my life,"

"Ed, who are you talking to?" Al asked, approaching his big brother and the man he was yelling at.

Ed scoffed. "Hohenheim!" He spat out in disgust.

"DAD!" Al shouted out in recognition.

"Alphonse, is that you?" Hohenheim questioned, looking at the suit of armor in front of him with curiosity. "Why are you wearing my vintage armor?"

"It's kind of a long story, dad. You see—" However, Al was cut off by Edward.

"Don't go telling him! He doesn't deserve to know! Besides, it's not like he really cares!"

"Don't go telling me what?" Hohenheim responded curiously. However, the Elric brother's where saved from having to answer by another voice.

"Hello!" Truth greeted the newcomers pleasantly.

"Who are you?" Roy Mustang asked in confusion, squinting in attempt to see the white guy in contrast with the white background.

"Oh, I'm so glad you asked!" Truth replied. "Some call me 'the World', or 'the Universe', I am God, I am Truth, I am One, I am All, and that means that I am also, YOU!" Truth said ominously, pointing towards Mustang. "And also, you, and you, and you, pretty much all of you guys. I'm everyone,"

"Your vague," Mustang criticized.

"I am also that too," Truth agreed. "Now, you are probably wondering what you are all doing here. Allow me to explain. For reasons that are beyond _your_ comprehension, I've decided to take everyone I've gathered around me right now, and force them to live together for 104 days. There is no way any of you can get out of this, so complaining is pointless,"

Despite what Truth said, people still complained.

"What do you mean I'm gonna be forced to live with these people. I don't even know half of them!"

"Wait, what do you mean 'live together',"

"This goes on for 104 days? I have work to do!"

"I swear, if this halts the progress we made for the Promis Day I'm gonna—"

"I'm stuck here! Without my Gracia and Elicia!?"

"Aren't there people who are gonna be worried about us?"

"I hate this place already,"

"QUIET!" Truth shouted above the protesting voices. "Let me explain. All of you will be living together in a large and grandiose mansion that I have prepared for you. There is no way to get out of it, unless you want to be walking around in a white void for the next three months. Now, while three months will pass in your mansion, only a few days, a week at most, would've passed when you get home, so your not missing anything important. Yes, you will be stuck living with people you don't know and likely don't like, but your gonna have to deal, and learn to get along. Any action you perform inside the mansion can be observed by _me_ , and if I catch any of you trying to kill someone else, I'll erase your existence on the spot, and trust me, I have the power to do so. UNDERSTAND!?"

"YES!" Everyone simultaneously shouted out fearfully.

"Now, while in the mansion, you will be supplied everything you may need; food, drink, entertainment, and objects that will appeal to your hobbies. Anything you can possibly want will be in there, except Philosopher's stones, bodies, limbs, or powers of Gods. The house will also automatically clean itself up, so you don't need to worry about making a mess. You will each sleep in one of the seven rooms, with four people to each room. I have the names of the people your rooming with on the door, including your name. If you try to switch rooms, you will suffer consequences.

"Finally, each day you will be assigned to do one odd activity of my choice. You must complete the activities to the best of your abilities. Act anyway else and you will be severely punished."

The Truth turned around, seemingly done with his speech, when he turned back again, stating "And also, there's only one bathroom. So good luck!"

Everyone let out a groan upon hearing this news.

"Now follow me! You must see your new home for the next 104 days,"

Everyone started walking, each engaging in their own conversations with people they knew. Edward walked at the front of the group, making a point of staying as far away from his dad as possible. Alphonse walked besides him, as per usual.

Winry ran up to her two childhood friends. "Any idea what this is about?" She asked as soon as she caught up with Ed and Al.

"No clue," Ed responded.

"Well, I'm just glad that wherever we are, you two showed up with me. I don't really know anybody else," Winry told them.

"I don't know half these people either, but I guess we'll just have to deal," Ed muttered. Den wondered up to the Risimbule Trio, to which Al gave him a pat in response.

Meanwhile, the Homunculi where less than happy.

"Okay, can somebody _please_ explain to me what the _hell_ is going on?!" Envy shouted out in frustration.

"It seems that God decided to play a joke on us," Father offered up as a reasoning.

"Oh, well that makes me fell a _whole_ lot better!" Envy replied sarcastically.

"If this is what God thinks is funny I'd like a new governor of the universe," Lust commented.

"Oh! Pick me! I'd make a great governor of the universe!" Envy threw out.

"You'd just kill everyone with fire and explosions," Lust remarked.

"That's why I'd be great!" Envy quipped.

"Well, it seems you haven't gotten any less _stupid_ since the last time I saw you," Said another voice of a homunculus they hadn't seen in a long time.

"Greed," Lust acknowledged venomously.

"How's it going sis? Did you ditch that redhead asshole since the last time I've seen you?" Greed questioned.

"I _killed_ that redhead asshole," Lust responded proudly.

"And that 'redhead asshole' happened to be the Fuhrer, may I remind you," Pride grumbled from besides them.

"It seems you haven't gotten any less pleasant, pipsqueak" Greed greeted his elder brother in a bitter tone.

Pride tensed at the word. "That's not the way to address your older brother, is it?"

"It's funny how your the older one yet I'm at least three feet taller than you," Greed remarked.

The two homunculi glowered at each other, ready to butt heads, when—

"Alright, quite it you two!" Lust snapped, pulling them apart. "Remember, your existence might be erased if you try to kill each other, so try to get along,"

"Look at Lust! Always having a good head on her shoulders. Guess I can't say the same for this one," Greed teased, gesturing towards Envy.

"Hey!" Envy snapped back.

"Come on! That outfit alone is _proof_ of your lack of sense," Greed pointed out.

"It looks great and you know it!"

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Palm-Tree-Guy" Greed quipped.

Envy glowered at their older sibling, and started to spew off nonsense at him, inserting a curse word they went. Lust did her best to keep her little sibling from pouncing on her troublesome brother. Father meanwhile looked back to see his children practically climbing on each other, with even his calm, sensible, eldest son looking like he was about to kill someone. "This is gonna be a long day," He moaned.

"Alright!" The Truth called out. "We're hear!" The Truth snapped his figures. Suddenly, all around them, the sky's changed to blue, the floor to a dirt path, surrounded by green grass and pretty gardens, a large brown fence surrounded them, and in front of them, a giant, beige colored mansion, with grand stairs leading to the front door, and a blue, impressive-looking roof. The Truth wasn't kidding when he said they'd be staying in a "large and grandiose mansion".

The guest let out various "oohs" and "ahhs". As unhappy as everyone was with suddenly being uprooted from their day-to-day activities, and having to live with people they barely knew and/or liked, they had to admit, the awesome mansion was a perk.

The Truth shouted out dramatically, "Welcome to the Prison Of Paradise!"

Upon hearing the word "prison," the good mood of the crowd was significantly dampened.

"Um!" Kimbely shouted from somewhere in the middle of the crowd, "I don't like that name!"

"To bad. It stuck," Truth replied stubbornly. "Now come on in!"

The mansion was just as awesome on the inside as the outside. The first room was a large hallway with a large white staircase leading to a second level, with a gold chandelier. Door's lead off to other rooms on either side of the hallway.

"Feel free to look around!" Truth shouted. "I will call on you guys when I need you!" And with that, the Truth disappeared.

"Well, we're gonna be stuck here for a while, we might as well scout the area," Mustang said. "Men! With me!"

"Yes sir!" The members of team Mustang responded officially.

Team Mustang went off to look behind the stairs, the homunculi went through one door, Hohenheim went upstairs, Kimbely scouted out in attempt to find the bathroom, Ling went to find the kitchen (his entourage following him), May Chang went off in a direction of her own, Scar wondered aimlessly, Marco went to see whom he was rooming with, Olivier Armstrong explored outside, Alex Armstrong did his best to avoid his sister, and Izumi tried to find out where the water was.

Meanwhile, Ed, Al, and Winry went off exploring together, Den following behind them. They walked through a random door, which happened to lead to a nice-looking dining room with a mahogany table, and a glass shelf displaying multiple china plates and tea pots. At the back of the room was a small bar, which led to a winery. The wall was painted light green, with random paintings scattered across, and a small chandelier on the ceiling. On one of the walls, was a white door. The trio entered the door, which lead to a large kitchen, that looked like something one would see in a fancy restaurant. They looked around the kitchen, turning to see a door which lead off to a giant pantry, which looked like something someone could get lost in. However, as Ed turned to walk down another part of the kitchen, he made eye contact with someone he was hoping to avoid;

Izumi Curtis.

Ed visibly shuttered in fear, quickly hiding behind Winry. The young girl took notice of this, looking at him with a mix of confusion and worry.

"What are you doing?" She questioned.

"Shhh!" Ed demanded. "Don't look now, but that lady over there. That's my teacher!" Ed shuttered, his legs shaking with fear.

"Wait, Teacher's here?!" Al said, his armor starting to visibly shake, as he turned his head, to see Izumi glaring daggers at him. The woman began to menacingly march towards them, her wooden sandals making intimidating clicks as she went. Edward decided that there where times to face Izumi Curtis head on, and times to run like hell as far away from her as possible. This was one of the times to do the later.

"HEY! AL! WINRY! I THINK I SAW SOME CHOCOLATE IN THE PANTRY! WHY DON'T WE GO GET IT!" Ed said loudly, quickly, and nervously. He grabbed his brother and friend by the wrist, pulling them into the pantry, and shutting the door as fast as possible. As they rushed inside, one might be able to hear Winry mutter, "Wait, Ed, you don't even like chocolate"

Ed and Al scooted large and heavy boxes in front of the door. They breathed a sigh of relief.

"What was that all about?" Winry asked them.

"That's our teacher!" Al explained fearfully. "We haven't seen her since we tried to bring mom back!"

"She made it clear she was against joining the military," Ed fretted "She's gonna kill us if she finds out what we did!"

"But won't she come in here?" Winry asked them.

"Please!" Ed said confidently, "she may be good, but I don't believe she's good enough to get through a locked door and a blockade of heavy creates,"

Much to their horror, however, as soon as Ed said that, the door nob to the door broke off, as Izumi's hand came pushing through. Then she started to scoot the door open, fitting herself through as she went. "I know your in here!" She shouted angrily.

"RUN!" Both Ed and Al shouted, grabbing Winry by either wrist and pulling her down the hallway with them.

* * *

Elsewhere, Olivier walked around the perimeter of the house, and came across a luxurious pool. The weather around the pool was warm. A little too warm for her taste. Olivier went back inside, hoping to find some place that suited her taste in weather.

After finding the kitchen, and walking through the extensions of it, Olivier finally came across the freezer.

The freezer was filled with snow, ice, and frozen food. It was a complete winter wonderland. Olivier found a beach chair, placed it on top of a snow hill, and started snow-bathing in it.

* * *

Mustang stood in front of a locked door that lead to a cupboard under the stairs. He had tried everything he could think of, but it just wouldn't open.

"Damn it!" Mustang complained. "I really wanted to see what was inside!"

"Well, obviously it's not gonna happen," Hawkeye said. "I say we should forget about it for now, and map out the rest of the area we are stuck in,"

Mustang nodded and moved on, heading towards the back door that lead to outside. He set his eyes on the pool.

It looked like a tropical paradise, with a cabana, palm tree's, beach lights, beach chairs, and a large pool with dark blue lukewarm water.

"A pool!" Mustang shouted excitedly, running towards it. However, before he could jump in, Hawkeye grabbed him by his shirt color.

"May I remind you sir, you are in your uniform," She informed him. Mustang started sulking.

"Besides," Havoc remarked. "Your _useless_ when wet!"

"Well at least I don't walk around smelling like an ash tray!" Mustang shouted.

"Hey guys!" Fury called out from behind, "Did anyone else notice that Hughes is missing?"

* * *

Back in the kitchens, Winry, Ed, and Al somehow wondered out of the pantry and into the freezer. And somehow the freezer was experiencing a blizzard. Alphonse walked ahead of his bodied friends to shield them from the blowing snow, while Winry and Ed huddled together under Ed's red jacket.

"Give me more jacket!" Winry demanded.

"Stop stealing it! It's barely covering my shoulder!" Ed snapped at her.

"Well, it's covering even less of mine! And your wearing long sleeves! You can deal!"

"It's not my fault you decided to walk into the freezer with us while wearing a tank top and a skirt!" Ed argued back. "Your hardly dressed for the weather! It's your own fault your stuck here!"

"I wouldn't have gone into this place if _you two_ didn't drag me into here!" Winry shouted at him.

"Guys!" Alphonse suddenly shouted. "There's a lot of snow on the ground. How about we make an igloo to keep ourselves warm?"

"Good idea!" Ed shouted, slipping out from his coat, clapping his hands together, pressing them to the ground, and creating them a small snow fort. The three children crawled into it. It was nice and warm inside. Winry used Ed's coat as a seat, since she wasn't wearing pants. "I have another idea!" Ed told his friends, before clapping his hands together, pressing them to Alphonse, and heating up his armor to a warm, yet reasonable temperature. Ed felt the heat on his flesh hand, and let out a satisfied sigh.

Al sat down, and Edward and Winry leaned into him, enjoying their makeshift sauna.

"So warm!" Ed sighed happily.

"It's like a heated blanket!" Winry said, equally as happy.

Soon, the two ended up falling asleep on Al's heated armor. If Al could smile at the cuteness, he would've.

* * *

Scar had come across the game room. The walls where beige, and the carpet was red. There was a small window with a red cushioned bench. The room had a pool table, a few chairs, table tennis, air hockey, fussball, and multiple arcade game boxes that Scar had never seen before. The strange technology defiantly didn't exist currently. Standing in front of a game called "Pac-Man" stood a short Xingese girl with a cute panda on her soldiers, as she stood on her toes to reach the controls.

The girl then turned to Scar and smiled pleasantly. "My name is May Chang, and this here's Shou Mei," She introduced herself, gesturing to her panda when saying the second name. "Do you want a turn?"

Scar silently walked up to the game and pressed the start button. After a few turns of loosing, Scar began to get the hang of the game. He used the joystick to move the yellow circle with the odd mouth, who was apparently called "Pac-Man", and had him eat the dots on screen. You win when you eat all the dots. Then there's multiple colored ghost, who will kill you if you run into them. However, if you eat cherries, the ghost will turn blue and look scared, then you can run into them and eat them without having to worry about dying. However, it only last temporarily. Eventually, Scar won.

"I won!" He announced uncharacteristically happily.

"That's great!" May complemented. "How did you win? I've been trying to beat this game since we arrived hear!"

"Here, I'll teach you," He said, letting the little girl step up to the game, and pressed the start button. "So, what you do is try your best to stay on the opposite side of the screen as the ghost. If you can't do that, then I suggest you..." He began to explain, as the two new friends began to bond over the simple yet addictive arcade game.

* * *

Izumi came to the end of the pantry, and entered the door that lead to the freezer. She was slightly weirded out to see that the freezer was somehow a winter wonderland, full of snow, winter tree's, and happy Christmas music somehow playing in the background. The overly happy vibe contrasted with the frozen cow carcasses that hung from the ceiling.

Izumi wondered around for a bit before noticing a blond woman around her age sunbathing in the cold weather. She had a Rum Swizzle in her hands, and sunglasses resting on her face.

"Excuse me?" Izumi asked the woman, approaching her. "But did you happen to see two blond kids and a suit of armor running by here?"

"They went that way," The woman said, pointing to the direction Izumi's prey had ran. "They looked like they where running from something,"

"Well, that would be me they where running from," Izumi said sheepishly. "I'm their old teacher. I think they think I'm planning to kill them,"

"Are you?" The woman asked curiously.

"Yes," Izumi confirmed.

At this, the woman got up from her chair. "I'll help you find them. This should be interesting to watch. I'm Olivier Armstrong, by the way,"

"Izumi Curtis. Nice to meet you,"

* * *

The homunculi had found the TV lounge. It was room with decent lighting, plum colored walls, grey carpets, a TV, multiple shelves filled to the brim with different types of movies, and multiple comfortable, black leather chairs (which Father immediately sat down and situated himself in), They found the TV screen fascinating, as it was part of a technology that they had yet to discover. There where also movies galore. Most they didn't know what to do with, but they still sounded fascinating.

" _Star Wars_?" Greed questioned. "What the hell is that?"

" _Avatar: The Last Airbender_ ," Pride read off a DVD. "What's an 'Airbender'"

" _Sex in the City_ ," Lust read off a DVD she found. "That sounds good,"

"That sounds gross," Envy quipped.

"Alright, what's your definition of 'good', then?" Lust snapped.

"This!" Envy replied, holding up a DVD which read _Attack on Titan_ for the room to see. "'Based off the Manga written by Hajime Isayama' whoever the hell that is, 'Humanity is at the brink of extinction from the hands of Titans; giant monsters that feast on mankind' It's got human eating monsters in it! It's gotta be good!" They explained excitingly.

"Well, I know what we're watching for movie night!" Pride said.

"I think your all forgetting about the fact that we don't actually know how to operate this 'TV' thing" Lust pointed out.

Pride groaned at his younger sister. "Why do you have to be such a downer?!"

* * *

Team Mustang searched all over the mansion for the missing Maes Hughes. They had no idea where he went, but they really didn't want him in close contact with the people they didn't know.

Eventually they found the man sobbing in a corner.

"Maes, what's wrong?" Mustang asked, concerned for his friend.

"I have to be in here for a whole three months without my Gracia and my Elicia!" He cried, turning to them. His eye's where red and puffy from crying, and a combination of tears and snot covered his face.

Mustang knew he would have to comfort the crying man. Hughes was his best friend, for better or worse, and a job requirement for best friends was to be a shoulder to cry on. However, everyone who knew Mustang, including himself, knew that he had the worst crying shoulders ever. He turned to his subordinates for help.

"Uh..." Fury said awkwardly, "I think I left my oven on," and at this he dashed off.

"Yeah, I left his oven on too!" Fallman shouted, running off on Mustang as well.

"I've gotta go sort my socks!" Breda said, following the previous two subordinates.

"I'm not even gonna make up an excuse, I'm just leaving," Havoc told him honestly, abandoning his superior officer.

Mustang turned to his Lieutenant; his last hope. "Hawkeye, help me!" He whispered to her.

"Sorry sir, but he's your best friend. I think your gonna have to do this one on your own," She said, turning to leave with her usual stoic face. However, as she walked off, Mustang could see the slight formation of an evil smirk.

Mustang sat down next to Hughes, and put his arm around him awkwardly. "Uh, there there? He tried.

Hughes just ended up sobbing louder. Mustang internally groaned. _I am not cut out for this!_ He panicked to himself.

* * *

Alphonse enjoyed the peace that came with his best friends sleeping on his heated body. Ed and Winry had curled up with each other in a way that would've made Al smile. _They're subconsciously in love!_ He thought joyously.

However, this happy peace was suddenly broken by an intrusive fist breaking through their igloo, and the familiar growl of their teacher from outside.

Al shouted in alarm, quickly standing up. The motion woke up Ed and Winry. Ed ended up falling directly on top of her (he turned cherry red once realizing this), so Al wrapped Ed's coat around them both in a sushi bundle to keep them warm, tucked them under his arm, and started to run like hell away from the igloo.

"What the hell, Al!?" Ed shouted.

"Teacher found us!" Al quickly explained. Suddenly, the suit of armor felt himself being lifted up, a giant hand made from ice and Alchemy lifting him off the ground by the back of the armor.

From the fogging snow, two figures stepped out. One was a woman who's intimidation level nearly matched their teachers. The other was their teacher herself.

"Uh, hey! Teacher. Nice to see you," Al said sheepishly, trying to hide the fear in his voice.

Izumi walked over to them, grabbed Winry from under her arms, and pulled her away from the two brothers. She then placed Winry down next to Olivier. "You don't mind giving this young lady your coat, do you?" Izumi asked with an air of good nature.

"Sure. Not like I need it," Olivier replied with a shrug, handing her winter coat to Winry, who then put it on happily.

Meanwhile, Izumi had turned to her former students. "I heard you joined the military, Edward!" She snapped angrily.

"Well, about that..." Ed started. He then wiggled his way out of Al's grip and started running off. However, a giant fist made of ice grabbed him.

"You better have a damn good reason for going against my teachings!" Izumi shouted.

Ed tried to formulate an excuse when he was saved by an announcement broadcasted all over the house. The Truth's voice rang everywhere; from the arcade room where Scar and May where still playing Pac-Man, to a supply closet that had buckets inside, where Kimbely had decided to relieve himself since he couldn't find the bathroom.

"Attention, everyone!" The Truth shouted. "In ten seconds I'm going to transport all of you to the living room. There we will partake in our first activity with each other. Don't be late!"

True to his word, ten seconds after the broadcast, everyone found themselves gathered in the living room.

The room was nice enough, with wood floors, a designer rug, and rouge colored walls. It had a red leather couch, a red leather love seat, and a red leather chair with a red leather ottoman. It also had a mahogany coffee table, and a mahogany rocking chair. A mahogany shelf stood in the corner, aligned with books.

"Everyone, take a seat around the coffee table," The Truth demanded. It was already sitting at the head of the coffee table. Everyone found their place around the table, sitting near people they where comfortable with, trying their best to stay away from the people they didn't know or didn't like.

"I can't say I've ever done this social experiment before myself," Truth said as a starting point. "But I've seen it done before. You people will never tell anyone anything about yourselves willingly. Another thing I've noticed is that you will hang out with the people you know but avoid the people you don't know or don't like at all cost. So what we're gonna do is play an icebreaker game that I totally made up on the spot. It's called 'Answer the Question'"

"Gee, I wonder what this games about?" Ed muttered sarcastically. The Truth ignored him.

"What's going to happen in this game is that I will ask the entire group a question regarding elements of your life or someone else's life. The question will be directed towards the whole group, so each of you have to answer honestly to the best of your abilities. I may or may not ask any of you a follow-up question. Each question you ask must be answered honestly and in detail. And trust me, I _will_ know when you are dishonest or hold something back. If you act this way, you will be severely punished. At the end of the game, each of you will have a chance to ask _one_ question. It can be directed to anyone, myself included. Any questions about the rules before we get started?"

"Yeah, how many questions will we be asked?" Ed asked the Truth.

"Twenty," Truth said. "Hopefully by the time I'm done, you will be able to skip the awkward getting-to-know-you stuff and are able to have somewhat manageable conversations with each other. Anything else?"

When nobody replied, Truth grabbed a dec of notecards from, well, somewhere, everyone guessed. It shuffled them up, and pulled out a random card. "Ready?" It asked.

A feeling of dread hung over the room. Everybody prepared for the worst.

* * *

 **So, I decided that I wanted this to be a Humor fic, and not an overly-emotional fic. Mostly because I wanted to write happy for once. Sorry to the one's who enjoyed my deleted chapter, but the only way I can hold interest in writing this is if I'm doing something fun. If you want to watch me manipulate emotions and murder my audience, go read my other fic,** _Blue Sky's and Pure Gold._ **I don't know how I'm going to keep this in a humorous direction, since this is a fic for the most emotional story I've ever experienced, but I'll do my best to keep it light-hearted and fun.**

 **This is only going to be my secondary story. BSPG is currently my biggest priority. I'm just writing this for fun, since it requires less thought than my other fic.**

 **And with that said and done, let's see where this fic is going to take me.**

 **~MotherUniverse signing out!**


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